Over the past several decades, realizing girls and young women were behind boys and young men, many initiatives have been put in place to ensure girls and young woman receive necessary support so they could enjoy equal opportunities in education, in the workplace, and within the world. However, in the quest to help them, something has been lost; something has been left behind … our boys and young men. The drive to help girls has resulted in the discounting of boys, much to their disadvantage.
This must change!
We need to get past the gender ideologies and recognize helping girls includes helping boys and helping boys includes helping girls. We’re all in this together, and we all lose if attitudes and policies pit one gender against the other, or benefit one over another.
Just as we have provided detailed and extensive attention to the problems and needs of girls, it is essential we give attention to the problems and needs of boys. It is only logical. When we do this fairly, we can see there are many problems and unmet needs among our boys and young adult males. And these need attention.
We want our sons to be strong and to one day become responsible men. We want our young men to be physically and mentally healthy and to achieve academic success, as they form a strong connection with their friends, family, and community.
Leaving behind their adolescent years and entering adulthood, they are to play a productive role in the lives of others, to grow up and become good husbands, fathers and role models. And yet, the needs of boys are often overlooked, and this sadly thwarts their ability to take a successful path to adulthood.
America’s boys and young men are in trouble, There is, as author Dr. Warren Farrell addresses, a “boy’s crisis.” The young men are not doing well in school, as they are often floundering, lacking ambition. Of course, not all of them are experiencing this negative trend, but definitely, enough of them are suffering for us – as a nation – to be concerned. In fact, more and more news reports are focusing on the trouble America’s boys are experiencing.
We are indeed experiencing a “crisis.”
In the United States and other western countries, it’s mostly boys who are faltering in school. Boys are falling behind at all levels of the educational ladder, from kindergarten to graduate school. In a society where academics are often seen as the predictors of future success, the education system has grown to be unsympathetic to the needs of boys, often requiring the more active students to remain seated for long periods of time while being forced to listen attentively.
Since the 1960s, schools have removed almost 55 percent of students’ recess time, which forces students to spend almost their entire school day inside behind a desk. Many male students do not learn well in such a setting, and will ultimately suffer from lower grades and disciplinary issues.
Aside from depleting the recess time that boys need to ensure that they can focus in class, the curriculum that is being implemented in school is often tailored more towards girls. Here, boys are less engaged in learning and in school activities. As a result, boys are far less likely to get good grades, take advanced classes, or desire higher education. High school dropout rates are climbing, and college completion rates are dropping. According to ChildTrends.org, in 2014, over 1,300 males between the ages of 16 and 24 dropped out of high school.
There is also a steady decline in college completion amongst men, with over 60 percent of college graduates being female. According to the US Department of Education, “men make up only 44 percent of college applicants.“ According to the National Center for Education Statistics, 2.2 million fewer men than women had attended college in 2017.
It is especially harder for boys who are growing up with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Based on the parent-reported data from the National Health Interview Survey, 13.3 percent of boys have been diagnosed with ADHD, more than twice the 5.6 percent of girls who have been diagnosed. As these types of disorders are becoming more associated with boys, this can introduce a whole new set of learning challenges for them.
Along with the amount of stress placed on boys to keep up with the current educational system, they are also discouraged from speaking up about their concerns. We currently have a social and political environment where boys don’t have permission to speak freely, and when they do they are often shamed or dehumanized for expressing their thoughts and feelings. Boys are left feeling they are less than equals in society, and this severely impacts the quality of life for a majority of boys.
More often than not, it is a struggle for young men to find a male companion or a role model they can relate to. Nearly 25 percent of America’s children live in mother-only families. Study after study shows that the involvement of a father or a positive male role model has profound effects on children. Father-child interaction promotes a child’s physical well-being, perceptual ability, and competency in relating to others. Furthermore, these children also demonstrate a greater ability to take initiative and display self-control. Children without positive male role models are more likely to be involved in criminal activity, have premarital sex, do poorer in school, and participate in unhealthy activities.
Growing up without a male role model can heavily influence the way boys cope with their emotions. Instances of aggression, depression, and other destructive behaviors – such as addiction and even suicide – can be the result.
Sadly, there is a lack of physical and mental health resources available for boys and young men. While there are support groups and organizations designed to help girls and women better manage their mental and emotional health, men aren’t offered the same opportunity. This is doubly concerning considering the male suicide statistics.
According to the American Foundation of Suicide Prevention, “Boys take their lives at 3-4 times the rate of girls.” For every 100 girls (ages 14 to 24) who commit suicide, 549 boys (ages 14 to 24) take their own lives. Suicide is the third leading cause of death in males age 14 to 24, and adolescent males are four times as likely as adolescent females to die by suicide.
While females are more likely to come forward and report suicide attempts, Medscape Family Medicine states that among the individuals with no known mental health conditions who died by suicide, 84 percent were men and 16 percent were women. If more resources became readily available for young men to address their concerns and mental health issues, the suicide rates would decrease and boys could get the help they desperately need.
It all starts at a young age. Boys are in need of places where they can belong, feel comfortable with who they are, and be a positive influence towards one another. They need to be encouraged to talk about what they’re feeling, to be offered moral support, and to keep an open line of communication. Adult males were once young men, who were once boys. The adult who emerges is shaped by all phases of life, but most profoundly so by the experiences of boyhood and adolescence. Caring for boys and young men, as a social group, unfortunately, is not of great concern.
This is where the Boys Initiative helps.
We aim to highlight the underachievement among boys and young men, and to foster dialogue and debate about it in order to collaborate on solutions to the boy’s crisis.
Our goal is to accomplish this mission by partnering and building coalitions with organizations that represent the interests of boys and men, parents and teachers and adolescent health care providers, among a host of other individuals, organizations and professionals devoted to the wellbeing of our nation’s youth.
Males need to be a major focus – not just their emotional development, but also how they perform in school.
As a nation, we need to help our sons and grandsons in the same way we’ve so successfully helped our daughters and granddaughters.