Nurturing and Empowering Our Sons: Healing the Wounds of an Anti-Boy Culture by Parenting and Educating the Way Nature Intended is a groundbreaking book by TBI Board of Advisor member Laurie A. Couture that explores the challenges and joys of raising boys in today’s society. Couture, who also spoke at TBI’s 2022 Helping Boys Thrive Virtual Summit, draws upon her own experiences as a mother of a boy, Brycen, who tragically took his own life, as well as her extensive research and professional expertise in child development and parenting, to offer a comprehensive guide to nurturing and empowering boys from infancy through adolescence.
There are many topics expertly explored in this incredibly in-depth look at raising boys in today’s world, but let’s look at a few key ones.
The book is available on Amazon in both paperback and Kindle versions.
There are a couple of keywords in the subtitle that are important clues as to the viewpoint of the author. First, she recognizes that we unfortunately live in what has become an “anti-boy culture,” a fact that many parents don’t realize. One way she suggests to counteract this is to actively “validate” your son’s maleness. She refers to the “trauma of boyhood,” looking at such issues as infantile circumcision and other “Primal Wounds” boys may encounter, affecting their development. Boyhood trauma can come in many forms, and can affect a boy for life.
Another keyword: Nature. Couture focuses on “Nature’s Intent” – avoiding unnecessary drugs and making sure that boys spend time in nature, among other things, while examining the risk of brains being hijacked by video screens. These are part of three types of needs that Couture suggests that all humans have: Physiological/Physical, Neurological, and Psychological/Emotional. Keeping these needs met will help restore a state of homeostasis in boys.
The book, which goes deep on a large number of topics, includes an exploration of the cultural and societal messages that boys receive about masculinity and what it means to be a man. In Chapter 21, Couture examines the damaging effects of misandrist messages, which often encourage boys to suppress their emotions, deny their vulnerability, and adopt a narrow and limiting definition of manhood. She argues that parents must be aware of misandry in media and social media, and work actively to counteract it by creating a home environment that promotes emotional expression, openness, and self-acceptance.
Yet another key theme of Nurturing and Empowering Our Sons is the importance of attachment parenting, a parenting style that emphasizes the importance of building strong emotional bonds between parents and children. Couture argues that attachment parenting is particularly crucial for boys, who are often discouraged from forming close emotional bonds and expressing their feelings. She provides practical advice on how to implement attachment parenting principles, including breastfeeding and co-sleeping, and highlights the many benefits of these practices for both parents and children.
As boys grow older, Couture encourages parents to continue fostering emotional openness and self-awareness. She advocates for teaching boys about healthy relationships, sexual education, and consent from a young age, emphasizing the importance of communication, respect, and empathy in all types of relationships. Couture also explores the challenges of raising boys in a society that often encourages aggression and competition, and provides strategies for helping boys channel their energy into positive outlets, such as sports, art, and community service. In addition, she looks at alternative ways to educate boys other than the public schools, including homeschooling.
Finally, in Chapter 32 Couture implores readers to “Advocate for Your Son!” In addition to caring directly for our own sons, she suggests we must also advocate for them on the societal level. She lists different types of parenting styles, and the many types of advocacy one can engage in.
Overall, Nurturing and Empowering Our Sons is a must-read for any parent, caregiver, or educator who is committed to helping boys thrive in today’s complex and challenging world. Couture’s compassionate and insightful approach to parenting offers a refreshing alternative to traditional approaches that prioritize strict discipline and conformity. By embracing the principles of attachment parenting, emotional openness, and self-acceptance, and advocating for our boys, parents can help their sons grow into confident, compassionate, and resilient young men.
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